Fa la la la la!

Hey guys!!!!

Been a while hasn't it? Well I am so happy to say that I am still working hard at meeting my gym goals each week. Last week I was sore non stop... took a couple days off and I am already sore again :) I LOVE it! It is such a good feeling. I have just been sticking with classes for now. Trust me getting an hour of gym time is nearly impossible as it is... so the last thing I want to do is have to put thought into what I am doing! It takes the guess work out of it for me. One less thing to STRESS about! Ha! Eventually I want to work back into doing what I love... TRAINING... and hitting those weights. I haven't been to the dark side (where all the big buff dudes hang) in so long I feel a little intimidated. Even though I know most of them... they haven't seen me in a long time and I cannot believe how much strength I have lost. I don't want to look like a wuss, lol! You guys... it is crazy... I can only do like 5 push ups. WHAT. IS. UP. WITH. THAT. Sigh. It will come back to me. It will, it will, it will!

Anyway, Christmas is just around the corner. I will be heading to Utah (to freeze my buns off) for the holidays. I have really been trying to get into the Christmas spirit... but that is really hard to do when 1, your husband is far far away... BOO... and 2, IT IS 85 DEGREES outside. SERIOUSLY! I love it, but it really makes it hard to believe Christmas is in a couple of weeks. I don't know if I will be back to the blog world until next year (that sounds weird) but I had to pop in with a quick update... and let you all know I am alive... and still trying to focus on some me time with my second love... GYM. I hope you are having a fantastic week, and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Many blessings to come your way. Thanks for all the support, and encouraging words. I need it more than ever right now.

Boom Diggity....

Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP.... I just returned from the gym. I haven't been in SOOOOO long and it felt OH SO GOOD even though I only did an hour of cardio (mild cardio). I feel totally rejuvenated. Like a new person. Not only did I break a little sweat, but I got to visit with two of my favorite girls and THAT was like a breath of fresh air for me. I feel so out of touch with my friends right now, so out of touch with my husband (only because he isn't physically here) and sadly... so COMPLETELY out of touch with MYSELF and that is probably the main issue. That is what is making me out of touch with EVERYONE else.

I had a complete breakdown this past weekend. It was bad. Embarrassing. I think I am still recovering, especially since Monday I tried to put my cell phone in the fridge, and had oh... we'll just say a few little anxiety attacks at work. I don't really know if it is hormonal, exhaustion, stress induced or just the fact that I seem to have put my needs WAY on the back burner, but regardless... it happened. Monday at work I was sitting in the break room eating my lunch when one of the girls came back and we started talking. She is one of the most incredible people I have ever met. Very... whats the word... intuitive? She has me all figured out, lol! She told me to go home and research Sympathetic Nervous System. She said she felt like mine was a little "off". I came home and did just that. OMG... hit the nail on the head. It is EXACTLY what I am going through. EXACTLY what I am feeling... and guess what is one of the main triggers.... NOT EXERCISING. Seriously. I went from exercising EVERY day to a couple of times a week, to not at all. She convinced me that especially right now with everything that I have going on I need my second husband GYM in my life more than ever. I WILL find a way to fit him in because I do not want any more meltdowns. :)

What is your cardio of choice? (It is not my fav thing) and how much cardio do you do a day? Tomorrow I don't work so I am going to the gym first thing in the morning for a killer TKB class. PUMPED.

Fumes

Where has time gone? Ever feel like you are running on fumes? That is how I feel. I remember the days when I looked forward to the kids having school, and having that little bit of "me" time to hit the gym, shop, CLEAN... you know... the fun stuff. And now the only thing I look forward to is the weekend, where there is NO school, NO work, NO getting up early and working all day just to run around all night to various kid activities. Sigh. I. AM. EXHAUSTED. All the time. EXHAUSTED.

I realized the last couple of weeks that I need to make some changes. For my own sanity. The job I started when the kids were both in school full time was mainly to get me out of the house, a change of scenery, a little extra cash, but it was only meant to be 2-3 days a week. PERFECT! It has turned into 4-5 days a week (lately more like 5) which literally leaves me no time for myself. Don't get me wrong. I love my job, its fun, the girls are AWESOME. I get to socialize and laugh and meet new people. All of which I love but when I get home at the end of the day I am so wiped out that all I want to do is sit. BUT, being that I am a single mom right now there is no sitting. Its homework with the kids, dinner (which I usually eat standing up btw), bags packed for the next day, laundry, tidying up and before I know it its midnight and I crash and wake up at 6 am to do it all over again.

As soon as Christmas is over with (bah-humbug) and kids are back in school I am cutting my shifts at work down to 2-3 days a week. I have to. I NEED the gym back in my life. I MISS the stage... so much. I want to get back on it once or twice before we leave California for good. That means I have a lot of work to do in a very short amount of time. Since we don't know when we will be moving yet I am setting a goal for all of you to see.... (this is not written in stone folks, could very well change ha ha ha)

Ready???

MARCH 26, 2011

That is MY show :) It was my VERY first show 2 years ago, and my OVERALL win last year. I want to end the way I started, only better ha ha ha! So there is is 2011 MuscleContest you are MINE. You hear me? MINE!

Wish me luck. Now I am scared.

Gobble Gobble

Its almost Turkey time... there are not enough ways to express my love for this holiday, mainly the delicious food. I am obsessed with it. I CANNOT wait. The weekend has been rough for me, I had the flu or something HORRIBLE Friday. It hit me like a ton of bricks around 4 pm. I started to finally feel better later Saturday only to wake up Sunday morning to a serious MIGRAINE.. Oh the pain, agony, and terror. It was AWFUL. I popped a bazillion Excedrin Migraines, which all failed me miserably and only left my stomach in knots. The room spun, my head throbbed, every movement the kids made had me curled up in a ball wanting to cry. I went to bed as soon as the kids did (this was after the 3 little naps I took). I woke up at 4 am where I remained with my head in the toilet for an hour. NOT FUN! However... that is what it took to put an end to this migraine. Today was a little "off"... mostly tired, a little achy but all in all so much better! Just in time too.

Tomorrow my sister, her significant other and their children will be driving to Cali to spend this awesome holiday with ME! I am so excited. It is hard having my husband gone ever but especially right now with all these holidays coming up. I hate it. I want him here with me more than anything. He is truly my BEST FRIEND. Having my baby sister here will definitely help me get through this thankful holiday! And I do have a lot to be thankful for. One thing being that dang migraine is GONE! HA HA!

So here is where I get excited... coming up with a menu for our little Thanksgiving feast. What's going to be on your plates? What are your must haves?

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

Nutritional info for the recipes I posted :)

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size: 1 muffins

Amount per Serving

Calories 88

Calories from Fat 32.0

% Daily Value *

Total Fat 3.55g

5%

Saturated Fat 1.21g

6%

Cholesterol 46.67mg

15%

Sodium 174.13mg

7%

Total Carbohydrate 11.24g

3%

Dietary Fiber 1.71g

6%

Sugars 1.4g

Protein 3.85g

7%

Est. Percent of Calories from:

Fat

35%

Carbs

51%

Protein

17%

* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calories needs.

This is for the Pumpkin Muffins... if making 12 muffins..... (I think I ended up with more though!)

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size: 0 loaf

Amount per Serving

Calories 174

Calories from Fat 10.7

% Daily Value *

Total Fat 1.19g

1%

Saturated Fat 0.37g

1%

Cholesterol 35.83mg

11%

Sodium 266.07mg

11%

Total Carbohydrate 35.39g

11%

Dietary Fiber 3.66g

14%

Sugars 18.43g

Protein 4.01g

8%

Est. Percent of Calories from:

Fat

6%

Carbs

81%

Protein

9%

* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calories needs.

This is for the banana bread!

Yummmmmmmmm

HOLY HEAVEN....

I have found two really amazing recipes... well I found them, then I altered them to suit my needs and came up with something AH-MAZING! I must share them with you!

A couple of weeks ago I made these:

Pumpkin Muffins with cream cheese

2 Eggs, beaten

1/2 C pumpkin

1/2 C Almond breeze

1/4 C butter (or applesauce)

1 1/2 C Oat Flour

1/3 C Splenda

3 tsp baking powder

1 tsp Cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp nutmeg

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Mix first four ingredients together, ad

d splenda, vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg. In separate bowl combine flour, baking powder, and salt together. Mix into wet ingredients. Pour into muffin tins. Set it aside and mix the topping.

Cream Cheese Topping

3 ounces cream cheese

1 tbsp splenda

1 tbsp Almond breeze

Add a spoonful of the topping to the unbaked muffins. Bake on 400 for 20-22 minutes!

Super yummy! Super pretty to look at and they freeze really well!

After our Vegas trip this weekend, we came home to some over ripe banana's... which means... whooo hoooooo... banana bread. But not just any banana bread, the BEST, EASIEST, HEALTHIEST banana bread you have ever had. SOOOO goood, my kids can't get enough of it!

Banana Bread

2 Cups Whole Wheat flour

1 tsp Baking soda

1/4 tsp Salt

1 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp nutmeg

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 C butter (or applesauce)

3/4 C Splenda brown sugar mixture

2 eggs, beaten

2 1/3 C over ripe banana's (I used 4 small banana's)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray bread pan with Pam baking spray. I ended up making 3 mini loaves, and 6 muffins out of this recipe (one is missing because I ATE IT). In a large bowl combine flour, baking soda, and salt. In separate bowl cream together butter, sugar. Stir in eggs, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg and bananas, add to the flour until moistened. Pour into bread pans or muffin tins. Let it sit at room temperature for 10 minutes. Bake until toothpick comes out clean.

For one large loaf bake 60-65 min

For mini loaves bake 20-22 minutes

For muffins bake 20-22 minutes

Honestly hands down the best banana bread I have ever made. My kids can't stay out of it. I froze two loaves and have already had to thaw one of them, tastes fantastic!

A Possum, Opossum... whatever!

I just posted this to my family blog... I found it worthy to share with you all too... welcome to a day in my life!

So... as most of you know BJay is away on business. Every time he leaves me for any reason some weird creatures show up to torment me. This is nothing new. It started back in the ARMY days. He would go out in the field and suddenly my house would be infested with lizards, or turtles would just randomly show up outside my door. True story. Strange. Well why in the world should this time be any different? So for about a week now I have been hearing things outside at night. Nothing too crazy, just the normal "creature" sounds. I am well aware of the 10 Raccoons we have living out there, but they hardly ever make their presence known. And when they do they are not nearly THIS noisy. So here I sit at night, all alone, kids in bed, TV on but muted so I can HEAR all the sounds and get myself so freaked out that there is no possible way that I will sleep. Why? Oh... I guess I am a sucker for TORTURE. So finally well into the wee hours of the morning I fall asleep... usually forced, with a headache and shortly after I wake up to annoying critters running around what seemed like at first was behind me (where just outside my bedroom wall is a little shed). UNTIL LAST NIGHT. Let me just tell you how this went.

Put the kids to bed around 8. Sat down to unwind, relax and watch Dancing with the stars. WHEN SUDDENLY... crashes, bangs, LOUD noises all around my house. I am now in a cold sweat, heart racing, shaking in my boots scared out of my mind. I rush to look out the sliding glass door to my backyard. Can't see a thing. So I calm myself down just to do it all over again. This went on for a while. I finally started chatting with my sister on Messenger. Asking for advice because by now I am in tears. Never been so TERRIFIED in my life. I kept imaging that it was crazy people trying to lure me outside to kidnap me. I know... I have a very active imagination... and I watch way too much TV. My sister who is ever so calm and not at all scared of anything mostly just told me to "RUN. COME HOME. GET IN THE CAR. CALL THE POLICE!". See calm. So as I am contemplating calling the police I decide maybe I should use the bathroom before I do. Just in case. As I am walking back from the bathroom I hear it again. This time I am right there by the window I rush over and sure enough there it is. A big HUGE NASTY Possum. This thing is HUGE. As big as a full grown cat. Back to Messenger I went to tell my brave sister what I discovered. As I am doing this there was another crash this time right outside my living room window. This scared me soooo bad that I attempted to run like hell only my foot got stuck in the cord of my laptop and my attempts failed when I ended up on my face. Awesome, you big chicken.

I did however feel much better at least knowing that it was a Rat on steroids and not a murderer, aliens or anything of that nature. Then I started researching this nasty creature, and what I read I did not like. Back to being TERRIFIED. I forced myself to sleep around 1:30 am, only to be awoken at SIX AM by the pitter patter of critters RIGHT ABOVE MY HEAD. Loud, clear as day... they are LIVING in my attic! The kids heard it too only they thought it was Thimbletack from Spiderwick living in the attic.

Exterminators come tomorrow. Not soon enough. I hope I can endure another sleepless night. P.S the pictures do not even come close to doing the size of this creature any justice. I could not zoom, it was too dark and my camera obviously wasn't happy about what it was taking a picture of either because it just would not cooperate with me.

"Firm" believer

Pretty good week so far.... had a few really good workouts... the fact that I can't squat, bend down or sit without wimpering makes me feel oh so good :)

Anyone ever done "The Firm" videos? Can I just say that I LOVE them. I don't love a lot of videos. In fact I am pretty picky as to which ones I will waste my money on ;) Anyway, I have a few of them, and I haven't done them in a while but as I sat here Tuesday afternoon I just thought I am going to DO IT... just get up off this couch... put the laptop down... and do a video! I am so glad I did. I forgot how much FUN they are and how good of a workout I get from them. My legs were JELLO, my heart was racing, I was dripping in sweat and it felt amazing! Now I am reminded that I don't NEED a gym to feel good, I can do something each day even though I can't make it to the gym.

So do you all have any favorite videos that you turn to when the gym isn't an option?

Pump-it up-kin

Hi all!

First off a recipe... today I was just craving PUMPKIN... its that time of year where I just can't get enough of it. I wanted something GOOD :) I found a recipe for Pumpkin muffins and altered it to suit my diet needs and what I got turned out pretty darn good! Here is what I did....

1 egg + 1 egg white
3 cups Oat flour
1 cup splenda brown sugar mix
1 cup Almond breeze
1 cup pureed cooked pumpkin
½ cup unsweetened applesauce
2 tablespoons splenda
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
¼ teaspoon cloves
¼ teaspoon allspice
¼ teaspoon ginger

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325°F.

2. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl; mix until smooth.

3. Fill sprayed muffin tins with mixture until ¾ full. Bake 20 to 25 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in a muffin comes out clean.

I didn't have all the seasonings so I used my Torani SF Pumpkin Pie syrup along with cinnamon, and all spice in place of all the spices. I also threw in 1/2 C of SF chocolate chips to keep the kids smiling... what.... you don't believe me? I swear it was ONLY for the kids ;) Nuts... I should have added NUTS! Didn't think of that until now. Oh well... next time!

Anyway, today was my gym day... I had plans to hit the gym at 4 with my girlfriend and at 1:30 I got the call. "Hello... Mrs. Brown? This is so and so from such and such... your daughter is not feeling well, she has a temp of 99 and says her tummy hurts". Sigh... there goes my workout. Good thing my job is very cool with things like that! So... I am about to pop in one of my favorite workout DVD's and get my sweat on. Hopefully my baby girl (who by the way has not stopped eating since we got home today... ahem... sour stomach???? hmmmmm) is feeling better tomorrow so she doesn't miss school, and... I don't miss the gym on my ONE DAY OFF this week!

Quickie

Where have I been? Truth is... I have no clue!!! :) Things have been a bit nutty around here and we have been having lots of fun with my mom here and birthdays and just the normal daily activities. I am however hoping for things to slow down just a bit! I need some down time!

Lets see.... a few updates.... I went to the Doctor to get some tests done, I wanted to make sure that all of this dieting and supplementing hasn't done any damage to my thyroid or anything else. Tests are in and I am healthy as can be. Good news! PHEW!

I have been able to hit the gym a few days a week too, that has helped mentally! I still have a ways to go but I am on the right track. I also have been getting the "itch" you know the one I am talking about. I miss the stage... I miss the drive, the passion... however I can't even think about that right now with everything else I have on my plate! Maybe Spring???? I may try out bikini for a season and see how that goes. We shall see.

I am trying out a few new recipes this weekend so I will be posting my reviews on that! Stay tuned!!!!!

Moving on...

ROUGH WEEK... ended up super sick yesterday. I woke up with this headache, but had to work so I just went and hoped that I could work through it. It started getting worse and worse and then the stomach started turning. Then I was running to the bathroom. Every five minutes. The end of the day couldn't come soon enough. I picked up the kids from school, came home and popped some Excedrin Migraine and passed out for an hour on the couch. Woke up to a rolling stomach, throbbing head... and hungry kids. :) I tried to eat a bowl of cereal (yes I know... mother of the year!!!) but it made me feel even worse. I went to bed at 8:30 with my kids.

It must have been a 24 hour flu. Some other girls at work were complaining about the same thing today. Loverly. I do feel a little better. Still a bit QUEEZY but do able!

So enough is enough. It's almost a new week, new goals, one of which may or may not include birthday cake. (ugh). My kids both have birthdays next week... and my mom is coming to visit. Those two things usually consist of LOTS AND LOTS OF SUGAR... and costco muffins... and all things that I avoid all year! Wish me luck :) I'ma gonna need it!

Happy Friday!

If I never.....

I am really struggling lately... struggling with a few different things but mostly I just want my old body back. In a very bad way. So bad that it almost literally HURTS. These are things that run through my mind DAILY.... if I never started competing, I never would have had to put on that extra weight. If I had never started competing I might still be my teeny tiny 110 pound self. If I never started competing I would have never gotten such a deep CRAZY complex about my body. If I never started competing I would NOT be so dang critical of myself ALL THE FREAKING TIME. If I never started competing I wouldn't be so miserable.

How stupid does that sound? It sounds even more stupid now that I wrote it down and could actually LOOK at it and read it out loud. S-T-U-P-I-D!

What I need to start doing is looking at the good things that came out of it. If I never started competing I would not have met so many AMAZING women. If I never started competing I would always wonder "what if". If I never started competing I would not know how good it feels to achieve goals. If I never started competing I would have never known how far I COULD go.

The fact is, it has brought the most joy and the most pain in my life. Joy that can not be replaced. A different kind of joy than what I get from my husband and my children. A feeling of accomplishment, an "I DID IT" kind of feeling. But the emotional and mental aspect of it sometimes overwhelms me and sometimes I think I just need to get it out so I can see how stupid it is and move on. So there you have it. Its out of the bag. Time to move on... to set some new goals... to love, live and enjoy every day being the best me I can be.

Sleep is over rated!

So.... this whole 30 days to me again... who's idea was this anyways? Ha ha! I had a rough time with my diet this weekend. ONLY because it was my time of the month. For some reason I have no control a few days before I start. I hate that. However today I literally had no time to eat much so maybe that makes up for it ;)

I did however make it to the gym 4 days last week. Doesn't mean I did a hardcore workout. A couple days of yoga, some cardio... nothing too intense but hey I made it right? Has to count for something!

Back on track this week though. I have to be. Time is ticking... those holidays are just around the corner... my husband returning... just around the corner. I owe it to myself to get my body back to normal for my own sanity! First thing I need to work on is my SLEEPING... meaning I need to try and GET SOME! I have not had a good nights sleep in I don't even know how long. UGH! If I have to pop some Nyquil or Unisom tonight I will. My problem is that I lay down and the wheels start turning for the first time all day. I could use those turning wheels so much more at work.. but NOOOOO... bedtime! Stupid! That and the fact that I have kids who are in and out of my bed all night lately too. Making me crazy. I think I have averaged 4 hours a night for two weeks now. NOT GOOD.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

I hope you are all off to a great start this week.

Crispy Rice Bars

Today I received a few new products from Nature's Path in the mail. I love trying new products. I will tell you about these in a few different posts because there are a few different items to tell you about. First off are the EnviroKidz organic Crispy Rice bars, Peanut Choco Drizzle. I think this is GENIUS. Halloween is just around the corner. We all know what that means. For me it means Mommy has to search through your Halloween bags and make sure there is nothing harmful in there (by harmful that usually means I am stealing all of your Tootsie Rolls and Reeses). In all honestly though, I have a love/hate relationship with Halloween. I love seeing the kids have a blast, I do not love having all of that candy in my house. Natures Path is marketing their snack size Rice bars for Trick or Treating. LOVE IT! They are not only good, but good for you. They are Gluten Free, ORGANIC, low fat, low sodium, whole grain, and non-GMO verified. One bar is only 60 calories!

Not only that but EnviroKidz donates 1% of the sale to the Lemur Conservation Foundation!

http://www.naturespath.com/products/vegetarian/treat-sized-lemur-peanut-choco-drizzle-crispy-rice-bars

PB2 Cookies

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size: 1 cookies

Amount per Serving

Calories 60

Calories from Fat 10.8

% Daily Value *

Total Fat 1.2g

1%

Saturated Fat 0.38g

1%

Cholesterol 8.6mg

2%

Sodium 36.7mg

1%

Total Carbohydrate 9.66g

3%

Dietary Fiber 0.36g

1%

Sugars 5.46g

Protein 2.12g

4%

Est. Percent of Calories from:

Fat

17%

Carbs

64%

Protein

14%

* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calories needs.

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup Splenda
• 1/2 cup Brown Sugar Blend
• 1 egg
• 1 tsp Vanilla Extract
• 1 tsp Baking Soda
• 2 tbsp Clover Honey
• 1/4 cup Water
• 3/4 cup Whole Wheat Flour
• 1 cup PB2

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. In a medium-sized bowl, cream together sugars, egg, vanilla, baking soda, salt, honey, water and PB2, beating until smooth. Add flour, beating until mixture is well combined. Dough will be very sticky. Drop Tbsp-sized balls onto prepped baking sheets. Press top of each cookie with a fork to make parallel lines, flattening cookies to about 1/3 to 1/2 inch thick. Bake cookies for 10 minutes, reversing pans midway through (top to bottom, bottom to top). Remove from oven, and transfer to a rack to cool.

*Making these tonight for the kids... I will probably sneak one or two in:) I will let you know how they turn out!