Sunday, August 29, 2010


What are your favorite ways to use PB2? I recently purchased some and have only used it in a shake for my kids. I need ideas :)

Monday, August 23, 2010


Nah.... but close!

Post-show depression~

I wish there was a better way to put it, something that didn't sound so AWFUL. But it is awful. I have done 7 shows over the span of 16 months. Crazy right? RIGHT! I have met some amazing women at each show, at the gym, everywhere who compete, have competed or PLAN to compete. There is no getting around it, we all feel the same after a show. D-E-P-R-E-S-S-E-D. You work SOOOOOO hard for 12 weeks (or longer) to get your body stage ready, and it is literally GONE the second you leave the stage and guzzle some water. Okay so maybe not gone, just covered up. My body is retaining everything. Nothing fits anymore, all that work seems like it was for NOTHING. (by the way, this is my depressed self talking... give me a few and I will get real). I feel like I just gave birth and have my post baby body... only instead of having that sweet smelling little bundle of joy to make up for it.... all I have is a bunch of carbs sitting on top of my muscles. UGH!

Realistically... I know that body is still UNDER there somewhere. I just need to start watching what I eat a little closer and keep up on my cardio at the gym... but mentally I am a MESS!

Getting real...
I have given Figure over a year of my life. I started this journey at 110 pounds soaking wet and a long way to go. I put on A LOT of weight that I didn't really feel comfortable with just for Figure. I LOVE this sport, I love the dedication it takes, the determination, the goals, the transformation, the feeling you get when you are on that stage knowing you DID IT... the only thing I don't love is the fact that if I ever want to take this sport any further I am going to have to get bigger (more muscle) which means more weight, which means an even bigger off season... I don't think I can handle that. I am going to take a break from Figure. I may still compete, just in a different category which won't require me to pack on the muscle.

You want real... I will give you real....
I have struggled in the past with an eating disorder. I have been as low as 103 lbs at 5'4". It would literally cause me pain to sit because all that I had "there" was bone. I have had to work really hard to get my head right over the last few years. To put that part of my life in the past. I am still recovering, I don't know if anyone who has ever suffered from any type of disorder every really can do more than just work at it. What I do know is that I am healthier now than I have ever been (EVEN THOUGH most days I feel disgustingly huge). I have a lot to live for. I can work really hard to get to my ideal weight the HEALTHY way and I can be an example to my children. I refuse to own a scale of ANY kind... not for my food, and especially not for my body. I know that if there is one in my house I will weigh myself every chance I get and panic over what I see... that will bring back all of my issues I had before. I am really trying to work at it the right way. That is me being really real. I don't share that part of my past with a lot of people because it is embarrassing to me. I am definitely a different person now. A stronger person. A person who is carrying a "carb" baby... ha ha ha!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


We have had a lot of fun you and I... I have thoroughly enjoyed your sweetness. The satisfaction you provide me with every morning and even sometimes in the afternoons or evenings. You have never disappointed me. Never made me feel like I wasn't good enough for you. No one has ever made me feel quite the way you do! BUT... I know I can't have you. Not like this. Not everyday, but if you are here I will want you. So I have to end this. It's over. I will never forget you my sweet!

Having said that... enter my new loves...


Guest post

I was asked to do a guest post for a friends blog while she is out of town. You can see it here if you are interested :)

Saturday, August 14, 2010


Okay... so I am no longer on my "competition diet" so although I still plan to keep my fitness journey blog alive I figured that I had better find other "normal" things to write about. I have had all kinds of cravings since the show. One of which is my mom's chocolate bars that I grew up eating. They are insanely good. Not so insanely good for you. Sooo.... being the way I am I took it and tried to make it a little healthier or at least a little more guilt free and they turned out AWESOME! Had to share the recipe... and a photo of the beautiful CHOCOLATE.


3 cups quick cooking oats
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, softened (you could use Applesauce... I didn't... this time)
2 cups packed SPLENDA brown sugar
2 Eggs
4 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk (I used the fat free one)
1 1/2 cups SUGAR FREE chocolate chips
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon salt


Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9x13 inch baking pan.
In a large bowl, beat together 1 cup butter and brown sugar until fluffy. Mix in eggs and 2 teaspoons vanilla. In another bowl, combine oats, flour, baking soda, and 1 teaspoon salt; stir into butter mixture. Set aside.
In a medium saucepan, heat sweetened condensed milk, chocolate chips, 2 tablespoons butter, and 1/2 teaspoon salt over low heat, stirring until smooth. Remove from heat. Stir in 2 teaspoons vanilla.
Pat 2/3 of the oat mixture into the bottom of the prepared pan. Spread chocolate mixture evenly over the top, and dot with remaining oat mixture.
Bake for 30 to 35 minutes in preheated oven. Let cool on a wire rack, then cut into bars.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


It has been a crazy month, summer, YEAR for me... I haven't even had a chance to sit down and write about my experiences with the two competitions I just did so I thought I would do that now. The first one was on July 24th in Culver City. It is a very familiar venue for me, I have competed there a few times. I didn't go into it 100% because I knew that the very next week I had another show... a BIG show. In my class there were 12 beautiful girls. I came in 3rd place. I felt pretty good with that placing. Of course I would have been happier placing higher but it wasn't in my cards! I met some really amazing women at this show (at every show), I love meeting and getting to know these amazing ladies. They are all so inspiring, all with such great stories and of course we all love to talk food ;) It was also really fun for me to have so many supporters in the audience. Some great friends came to watch. Thanks so much, it means the world to me to have such a great support team behind me. I love the friendships I have made here in California!

A week later.... it was off to Vegas. This show is HUGE... just to give you an idea of just how HUGE it is... in a normal local show there are usually under 200 competitors. Vegas had OVER 500! YIKES! Not only are there over 500 competitors but each one of those 500 and something had to qualify to be there. In order to qualify you have to place in the top two at a qualifying event. So.... yeah.... in my height class there were 40 girls from all over the country, who have either placed first or second that year. Talk about COMPETITION! These women were INCREDIBLE. I knew when I walked in that I didn't stand a chance. I am no where near as lean, or muscular as these women. I felt like I scrawny little thing next to them. HOWEVER I went into it expecting very little so that I could not be disappointed. I was honored to be there, to have qualified to be there is more of an accomplishment to me than I ever dreamed. Some family was able to come out and support me, my mom and one of my sisters was able to be there to see me for the first time, and Bjay's brother Jon and his wife Stella came out, it meant so much to me to have them there. I have had a great year and a half. Competing has been an incredible (although VERY hard) journey. I am so grateful to have such an awesome man in my life that supports me and stands by me because heaven knows how hard it can be to stand anywhere near a woman that is constantly dieting ;) Thanks babe, I love you!!! I don't have many pictures from Vegas, the photos that were taken and put online were AWFUL... the worst I have ever seen so I am not going to buy them. I do have a video that I may post... we will see....

Of course straight after the show we went to Applebees where I had the appetizer sampler with wings and a few other not so healthy fried things... and a blondie... ohhhhh yeah... should have taken pics of my yummy food. Darn! I also ended up sick to my stomach the rest of the day :( but it was so worth it!

Having said that, I am hanging up my clear 5" heels for a while. Ha! I need some time off, time to get my body back to normal (I HOPE). Time to enjoy my family. Time to be able to sit down and have dinner with my family... AT THE SAME TIME.... eating the same thing. I NEED to learn how normal feels again. I have had such an amazing time, met some of the most amazing women, and gone farther than I ever dreamed possible. I don't know when or if I will get back on that stage, but if and when I do you better believe I am bringin it!

ALSO..... I have to thank my sponsors. I was very fortunate to have two sponsors that helped me so much in preparing for these shows. Xango and Perfect Tan! THANK YOU SO MUCH, I AM SO GRATEFUL, I could not have done this without their help. If you would like any information on either of these two companies or their products do not hesitate to ask.