The other night while trying to fall asleep my mind started going. This used to be pretty normal for me but as of late the second my head hits the pillow I am out so it was pretty strange that I was having a hard time falling asleep. I was writing this post in my head.
Saturday when I was at lunch with some of my competitor friends one of them was telling us the greatest story. She was telling us about how she had created this alter ego the night before and how fun it was for her to be "someone else" and step out of her comfort zone. She is hilarious and it was so fun to hear about her wild night! It got me thinking. Do you have an alter ego? Is there something in your life that you do that maybe makes you feel like you get to be someone else for a day?
We all have fears. We all have things that make us uncomfortable. Most of my life I have been shy. Super shy. I have always hated being the center of attention, I have always been really quiet and would rather sit in the back of a classroom and hide. I HATE being called on for things, and I absolutely am petrified of speaking in front of people. ALL. MY. LIFE. These are fears that I have no desire to conquer. There are other fears that I have attempted to get over. My fear of water. Open water. I got scuba certified. And I haven't been since. I am still terrified of open water. Hey, I tried.
Those who know me really well have said to me "I can't believe you compete! I just never pictured you doing that because you are so shy!" Every time I hear that I nod. I agree with them. I can't believe I do it either. I have decided that the competitor in me is my alter ego! It is ONE day that I don't have to be me. I get to be someone else. We just share the same name... most of the time... depending on the announcer. Sometimes I am Kernie Brown. She is fierce! When I am on that stage, I feel good, I know that I worked my hiney off to be there. I am not mom, I am not wife... I am just a competitor and I am accomplishing something that I have dedicated months of my life for.
I still get nervous every show, I still feel like I am going to throw up seconds before walking out onto that stage but the feeling that I get when I finally do it... is indescribable!